It Works If You Work It.

This is going to be short and sweet. My name is Don and I’m an alcoholic. Back when I first got sober those words held so much power over me. I was a mess, my life was in upheaval and I was 42 years old. I started thinking recently why I started drinking in the first place. Self esteem seems to be the number one reason I started drinking. You see I had no self esteem for many reasons. Alcohol allowed me to open up and release the person inside I wanted to be. having spent the last ten years going to meetings and listening to others, I realized that this is the reason most people start drinking. They don’t like who they are and alcohol allows them to be someone else. That is of course until it stops working and they become that drunken mess we all know and love. Now some of you might be wondering why I would write about this on a blog about turning fifty. Well there are some of us, Even at fifty that struggle with substance abuse. Just know this ” It’s never to late to say no more”, to spend more time with the ones you love with out the drinking. You will find you will argue less and smile more. Remember this they love you as an alcoholic, or addict, and they will love you even more as a better version of you. This isn’t about change, this is about being a better version of the person you already are.

I know there are some of you saying ” I only have a glass of wine when I get home from work” my question is Why? there are better ways to decompress. and have you ever felt irritated when you don’t get a glass of wine. Or thought ” Man, I could really use a drink.” these are all excuses to drink. I’m not trying to get people to stop, My issues are not your issues. I’m just asking that every once in a while instead of the drink spend some time hugging your family. You will get the same good feeling as the glass of wine and your body will thank you. Your family might think you lost your mind but you will feel so much better afterwards it will be worth it. If Anyone would like to get sober please contact me through this blog and I would be honored to take the time to be of service to you and get you in touch with the people that can change your life. Hugs to all that struggle, and all my love to those that struggle with them.


Music is my Panacea

I can’t think of a time or moment in my life that music wasn’t attached. Music brings back feelings and memories faster than anything else for me. I can’t think of a moment or person in my life that doesn’t have a song attached to them. My lifetime play list has a mixture of everything in it. Every artist from Puccini and Mozart to Bowie and even Herb Albert. I would hazard a guess that there is a song you associate with a certain person or event in your life. Music as a artistic medium is powerful and universal. There isn’t a culture in the world that doesn’t have music as a cornerstone of that culture. We use music to celebrate, to lament, to pass time, to show allegiance, and to mark emotional triumph. I.E. the song We shall overcome, Immediately we think of Martin Luther King and the struggle for equality. I find myself turning to music more and more to express my feelings and remember happy and sad times in my life. The other day some one sent me a music video on Facebook that was about loss of youth and regret. I immediately felt their   pain without having to be there to experience it. Having known this person for a really long time, I sent back a video of REO Speedwagon’s “Take It on the Run” which was the song playing in her Carmen Ghia on my Prom night. A really happy memory for me, and hopefully for her. I don’t know if she got the reference but every time I hear any song from “High Infidelity” I think of her.

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I had a cat pass away a few years back. She was an ugly little cat and only was sweet to me, and she hated my wife. (long Story). She became ill and I held her while the vet gave her the shot. On the way home I turned on the radio and Hall and Oates “She’s Gone” came on and I had to pull over and began to cry. To this day I can’t hear that song without tearing up. (Stupid Song)…. Anyway I’m sure there are songs that touch each one of you in some way or other.1035x819-halloates-1800-1386947504

This begs the question then… Why would the school district put so much into sports in the school system, but so little funding on the arts and music programs. shouldn’t it be the other way around. Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids about healthy and creative expression of their feelings and not putting so much emphasis on potentially harmful sports. And while I’m on the subject, Why aren’t we teaching Martial Arts and Meditation in the schools. Kids that have tools to calm their brains and protect themselves, what a concept. To radical? maybe but these are the standards in Asian countries and they don’t have kids running down school halls with automatic weapons. OK that got dark quick.

The main reason for this disproportionate use of funds is money. Schools make money off of sports. that is it. It has to be, otherwise they wouldn’t spend so much on these programs. If anyone else has an answer for this I would love to hear it. I would bet that if you asked any artist why they started in music they would say school. These are the people that are sowing the tapestry of our lives,(except Kanye, I cant imagine anyone wanting him to speak for them) When have anyone said Time Tebow reminds me of the day my son was born. Or John Elway makes me think of my first love, Eww.

Sunday from the Heart

What is love? I treat Valentines day just like I do any made up holiday designed to increase gift card and candy sales. I dismiss it and go a different direction. I find myself being introspective and self deprecating. Why should I take one day a year and tell the people I love, that I love them? And why didn’t I let them know the rest of the year that I love them? If I have to put all my love into one day, then I would have to describe myself as a selfish asshole. Some would say ” Valentines day is about romance”. What is so romantic about a stuffed bear a pseudo heart shaped card and a box of chocolates and flowers. I can’t imagine the look on my face if someone gave me this array of crap. I can’t think of anything more superficial and trite. I propose that we make Valentine’s day the rule, not the exception. “I pledge to tell the ones I love, that I love them, everyday.” and furthermore “I swear I will never hand you a card, bear, box of chocolates, or a bunch of flowers to tell you how I feel”. I plan to give love to all and take extra care to let those closest to me know that I love them everyday. Except on valentines day!